Why did I buy a Cadillac Escalade?  Was it my burgeoning career as a rap artist, my desire to consume copious amounts of gasoline when it was at its most expensive, or my love for a great deal?  More to come on the only "new" car I've purchased in my adult life that lasted under a year . . .

To My Friends' Dismay, I Owned This Car From: 12/2008 - 8/2009.